Yo, don't play

Most frustrating day at work so far. Customers kept asking me to lead them to products, and every time I bring them there they're gone already. I should walk with them side by side next time. Or just ignore them. Or give them the finger. Sss.

Even when friends dropped by to visit me didn't brighten up my day. It was nice of them, but I was so tired I just wanted to sit alone, or nap. But i didn't want to be mean.

Filling that void

Restocked my fridge with some meats and dairy products. It was a good grocery run. Can't buy too much at once because I don't cook every meal of the day, nor do I eat every meal of the day.

On the way home, a swarm of five squirrels swept past my feet. I almost dropped my food. Dang long-tailed rats.

Hunger

Been pretty hungry lately. Cleaned out the fridge, almost. Gonna have to do a grocery run soon.

Didn't get much schoolwork done again. I wanna do other things instead.

Revision

Didn't go to class again. Stayed home instead. Behind in schoolwork anyway. School is such a hassle these days. Wish I didn't have to go.

Downed some beer to ease my mind for reading.

It was a nice nap.

And again he came. I only caught a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eyes. Just a fleeting image. But I'm quite certain he was there.

The revisitor

When I came home from work today - another bloody battle, by the way - I found today's newspaper and letters on my table. I only opened the front door to leave for work this morning. How did those papers get on my table, at least twenty feet away from the front door?

They weren't scattered, nor were they neatly stacked, as if whoever dropped them there was in a hurry.

Do I have a benevolent housemate?

Can you please show yourself?

Crimson joy

I had a shift today. And yes, I got work done. Oh yeah. Loved every second of it.

Picked up two cases of beer after work for dinner.

Confused

I can't sleep.

I woke up to a shout nearby.

Who? Where? How?

The visitor

I returned home today to find my TV on. Just the set and not the cable. Odd. I can't remember the last time I watched TV. I certainly have turned it on during this past week, but I can't remember the most recent time I was using it.

Seconds later, I heard footsteps and carpet creaking above me. Was he back? The one from before? The following children's poem leapt into mind:

As I was walking up the stairs,
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish I wish he'd go away.

I crept up the dark stairway to the third floor. I was just there about three minutes ago showering. Was he there the entire time? Since I'm home alone these days, I've picked up the habit of not closing doors when I relieved myself on the john, when I showered, when I changed, etc. Was he watching me?

First I entered the master bedroom, wielding my cell phone as a flashlight. I checked under the bed. Checked behind the bed. Checked the master bathroom, the one I was just in. The walk-in closet was the only remaining space a man could hide. A shiver seized my heart as I wrapped my cold fingers on the icy doorknob. No one uses the walk-in closet, even though it was packed with clothes. I slowly opened the door and peered inside. Just clothes. Nothing stirred. I looked up at the tiny trapdoor that led to, in my mind, without any factual basis of where it truly led, the unexplored attic. I closed the door to the closet.

I doubt he's up there, but the thought of the contrary remains.

Blood stained uniform

I had work today. I dreaded it. Nothing interesting ever happens. Well, I guess stuff does happen, like getting my hands and arms cut open on every shift. First one was a slice from the caged ladder we use to shelf products. Second one was a paper cut or something. And then I took another hit recently from the same ladder. My uniform has dark little stains on it now, and they're all from my bloodied limbs. It doesn't feel like I accomplished anything unless I got bloodied up. Takes hard work to produce good results, right? Well, it didn't feel like I got much done today because I didn't get hurt in like seven hours straight. So I asked my boss for his handy xacto knife in his pocket and got some work done today. I have parallel scars now. They look so cool.

Ahhh......crap

That beer sure hit the spot. Maybe I should've drank it first before I showered, instead of leaving it out, shower, and then drink it. Cold beer is better than lukewarm beer. I'm not spitting it out though.

And I think I'm on to something. You know the last entry? Yea, that one? About the glasses and the unreal and the screen, yea? Yea. That one. I think it's true. Because he can't really be in here...

More rain

All that drizzling zaps my energy. Didn't finish my assignment last night, so I didn't go to school today. Still haven't finished my assignment. Whatever. Don't get me wrong though, I gave it a go. Ideas weren't coming to me, so I tried to ease my mind. Drank two beers for that.

Fell asleep.

Woke up later a little wobbly.

Ever wonder about glasses? Not like beer glasses or shot glasses. The ones that go on your face in front of your eyes. No, not beer goggles. Eyeglasses. They're interesting. By that I mean disorienting. I mean, think about it. What does one usually see when one looks through a screen? Computers, TVs, MP3 players. All presenting things of insignificance. All unreal. Even telescopes or binoculars. Sure they're real, but they're out of reach, unattainable. Never good to look through a screen, I tell ya.

So I'm walking around the house with glasses on, and nothing seems real anymore. I feel disconnected from myself, like a voyeur observing what this body is doing. What I do is of no consequence. Nothing I do matters, and I certainly don't have to pay for my mistakes, because I'm not really me. Know what I mean? It all makes sense.

I need a beer.

Rain, rain, rain

No school today, no work today. Play time! Well, I do have that major assignment to take care of, but whatever. Not gonna let my free time slip away like that.

Honestly though, I might be a little too swamped these days. Being alone at home with school and work to juggle, I might just have to cut down on the less important things.

Also skipped out on friend's birthday dinner today. What can I say? It's pouring outside. Even if I'm the only one invited to it.

Enough writing. More playing now.

Freedom!

So as many of you know, my whole family, excluding me, has gone out of town on vacation, leaving me, myself, and I home alone.

I love my life.

As master of the house I can do whatever I want now. Eat when I want to eat, eat what I want to eat, sleep when I want to sleep, and do whatever else I want to do. It's all me right now and I'm loving it. No more nagging, nobody to breathe down my neck and tell me what to do.

First things on my agenda:
Chill with homies
Load up on merch
Booze up
Go to work

Gonna be the most chilling time. Freedom!!!