Relief

Having finally dropped one of my courses officially, that interesting film course made unbearable by that loathsome woman, I’m finally feeling less overwhelmed. Not yet underwhelmed, but it’s a welcome break nonetheless.

Been staying dry these past couple of days. Alcohol’s kinda expensive anyway. But a bottle after a long shift at work would be nice. Maybe after I’ve saved up a bit I’ll indulge myself a little. I need breaks anyway.

Speaking of work, I’m getting sliced up again these days. I think it’s because I’m working early morning shifts and my motor coordination doesn’t kick in at that time. Scratching myself up left and right, adding stains to my red shirt. At least the stains are still subtle.

And family will be back in a week. Should be good. Home is a mess these days, with linty carpets and greasy kitchen counters and dying plants and whatnot.

Bloodshot

I woke up at around 10am today, but I was at work at 7:53am. That was painful. My stomach growled for the longest time, and I didn't get to have my 15-minute breaks. The day was long and dull. That is to say, there was no excitement, although there was so much crap to take care of. Yearned sleep so badly. Unlike in the summer when I couldn't stay awake for 15 minutes, I was not that exhausted, but I needed sleep. A willful desire that frustrated me greatly.

And I got other things to take care of, so that didn't help ease my mind. I expect troubled sleep tonight.

Last thought; I came by something interesting tonight. While getting ready for shower in my bathroom, I found a long string of hair on my foot. It was about 5 inches long. Whose was it? Where did it come from? No one (excluding myself) has been up there for weeks. How did it get there?

Go reproduce asexually

I've been off the booze for a while now. It's been different. I kind of miss the cool beverage on heated days, but I'll get over it I think.

After a month of absence, I returned to class to get my assignment handout which was actually handed out four weeks ago. Well, I was going to go to lecture first, but I was 30 minutes late, and it was just the screening of some horror film, so I decided to watch it by myself at the library, which I did. I almost fell asleep watching it. Horror films don't faze me anymore. They all seem so unrealistic to me now.

Went to tutorial. TA went to Mexico for reasons unknown to me, so the professor substituted for her. Saw the rest of the horror film that wasn't screened in lecture due to lack of time, which I had to sit through again. I just wanted to get my assignment handout and go. After the movie was done I asked the professor for the assignment and that's when all hell broke lose.

She accused me of being a bad student, for not being dedicated, and said that it was evident I was missing classes. Saying I cared not for the course, my grades, and most likely my life and future. Ended it by saying she wasn't feeling charitable at the moment and didn't know if she should even give me the assignment because I probably wouldn't do it anyway. My hand itched then; I was so close to smacking her across the face.

Tell me, "professor," how would you know if I have been to classes or not? Evident? You don't even take attendance in lecture, and you're definitely not my TA, unless you got fatter and uglier overnight. And my TA isn't even a looker; she's at the other end of the spectrum as well. Did you take a second to consider why I might have been absent all along? And now that I come to class to try to redeem myself you have to insult and discourage me? Go reproduce asexually. I hope you read this someday somehow and realize how close you were from visiting the hospital. I'm never going back to your class again. Or maybe just to wreak havoc.

Gotcha

So I was doing Skype with a friend and this turned up on my webcam. I didn't dare turn around. Took a snapshot instead.



Please leave me alone.

Restless

With a major assignment to finish for class and work at 7:50am this morning, I had no choice but to stay up the entire night after a 9.5-hour shift. I'm about to have another 9-hour shift. Work is steadily taxing my energy, and with home maintenance and school to take care of as well, it's steadily breaking me down physically and mentally. I don't eat regularly, I don't sleep regularly, and my marks are undoubtedly dropping as well. It wouldn't be so bad if friends dropped by now and then, but with mid-terms going on for most students, they haven't been coming. It doesn't help that co-workers are somewhat hostile towards me. Probably because I'm the new guy.

I can't take much more of this.

I need a break

After working three days in a row, it was good to have a deep sleep at the end of the night knowing all my shifts were done for the week. Unfortunately, my dreams weren't so kind to me. I dreamt that I was at work.

But not only that, the customers kept asking me to help them out in other departments, ones I had virtually no experience with. There was a sale going on for portable solar generators at $39.99 apiece. Since the tech department was understaffed at the time, I had to help them out with restocking and doing inventory. They may have "portable" in the name, but these sunlight suckers weighed a ton. I don't remember how many customers asked for them or how many I sold, but I do remember them not wanting the extra warranty, or the extended service plan as they called it, which meant no bonuses for me as we get commission for selling warranties. Totally sucked.

After work today I had a birthday party to attend. The food was amazing, and there was a great variety of it, too. I helped myself to several plates, and had to take a breather halfway through the fourth. It only took moments for me to start drifting off to sleep. All these people were talking to me and I barely responded with nods and monosyllabic comments. I can't even recall what those conversations were about. I just wanted to sleep, just drop my head on my crossed arms on the table and snooze. Even all that background music and speeches wouldn't keep me up.

But now, at 2:18 AM, I'm wide awake after my shower. Curses.