Go reproduce asexually

I've been off the booze for a while now. It's been different. I kind of miss the cool beverage on heated days, but I'll get over it I think.

After a month of absence, I returned to class to get my assignment handout which was actually handed out four weeks ago. Well, I was going to go to lecture first, but I was 30 minutes late, and it was just the screening of some horror film, so I decided to watch it by myself at the library, which I did. I almost fell asleep watching it. Horror films don't faze me anymore. They all seem so unrealistic to me now.

Went to tutorial. TA went to Mexico for reasons unknown to me, so the professor substituted for her. Saw the rest of the horror film that wasn't screened in lecture due to lack of time, which I had to sit through again. I just wanted to get my assignment handout and go. After the movie was done I asked the professor for the assignment and that's when all hell broke lose.

She accused me of being a bad student, for not being dedicated, and said that it was evident I was missing classes. Saying I cared not for the course, my grades, and most likely my life and future. Ended it by saying she wasn't feeling charitable at the moment and didn't know if she should even give me the assignment because I probably wouldn't do it anyway. My hand itched then; I was so close to smacking her across the face.

Tell me, "professor," how would you know if I have been to classes or not? Evident? You don't even take attendance in lecture, and you're definitely not my TA, unless you got fatter and uglier overnight. And my TA isn't even a looker; she's at the other end of the spectrum as well. Did you take a second to consider why I might have been absent all along? And now that I come to class to try to redeem myself you have to insult and discourage me? Go reproduce asexually. I hope you read this someday somehow and realize how close you were from visiting the hospital. I'm never going back to your class again. Or maybe just to wreak havoc.