Cracks in the mask

Been saving up energy on my generator. The dark skies these days don't help at all. Only recently did I get enough juice to even consider risk using the computer.

Confined to my home, I've been trying to reach out to others through the phone. It still works, even though I haven't been up to date with the bills. I'm not complaining though.

But I do complain, just not about the phone service, although it's been virtually useless. I call, but they don't pick up. Ring. Ring. Until that recorded voice tells me to give up. No one calls back.

Sleep has been bad. I wake up in sweat, or lie awake in sweat. One happens as often as the other. Been having stressful dreams. The man invades them. I thought he was behind me, a thing of the past. I was wrong. I don't want to be wrong. I just want to rest.

I enjoyed the isolation, the quietness. But enough. Don't do this. I don't know how much more of this front I can put up. I used to write frequently on another blog. But it's meaningless to don a mask if no one sees the mask anymore, or if there's no one left to hide from. But the mask is crucial. It's been so much a part of me. A skin of sanity. I have to save what I can. Save "face".